Can Purell be used as lube?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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