What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
