you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
