He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
