great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
