Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
