she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Pants are for mortals
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
