my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Randomize
