if i can run in heels then i can drive
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
