Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I had to cum in my sink.
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