Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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