We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
