vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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