He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
