I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize