eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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