I think im going to throw up on grandma
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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