I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
How does it feel to date your dad?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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