I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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