Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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