We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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