names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize