he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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