Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
