FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
