She just used a chaser for red wine.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize