party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
