can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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