Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
