Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
