She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize