smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
