I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
