do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
false alarm, still single
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
