What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
