he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize