pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
