If that was your dad, he is hot
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
