Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
