worst night to have a conscience
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
