that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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