just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize