Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
