Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
