so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
