going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
