I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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