Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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