when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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