i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
