It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
