i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
