I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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