He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
