i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I party with great urgency now.
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