Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
