I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Randomize
