I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
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