i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
