My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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