Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
