About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
They should really pass out barf bags in church
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
