exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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