Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
My ATM looks so different sober.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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