before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
