she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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