it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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